Online
dating: Is it right for you?
Should you go online dating?
Why not?
That is the answer for many of those undecided and unsure of going Internet Dating. There are many
reasons for doing so, and by being a member of online dating services, you are expanding your social circle and raising your
hopes to find your perfect match.
Online dating services have grown by leaps and bounds over the years. Most singles have become members
of such online dating sites, with high success rates.
Here are some reasons why online dating is perfectly right and safe for you.
It is fun
In case you did not know or haven’t
heard yet, online dating is the most prominent way of meeting attractive and fun people all over the world. It is a safe,
easy, and fun way of meeting and connecting with many great people.
Every month, millions of singles all over the world are available for instant
communication, with hundreds of thousands signing up as new members.
Benefits of online dating
The benefits of online dating are absolutely endless. For example, most dating
services on the Internet have millions of members, mostly actives ones that are just waiting to communication with somebody
like you for friendship, lunch or dinner dates, and possibly even more.
The odds of finding a special mate in these online dating services are very
high since these singles intend to meet someone of you. Imagine the millions of potential mates in online dating sites.
The icing on the cake
of course are the features of most online dating sites, such as the easy access to the wide profiles of people, with their
photos, audio and video clips available at an instant. It’s like meeting somebody new at the click of a mouse right
in your own home.
Internet
Dating is Easy
Online
dating sites have hundreds of millions of members. So, for example, if you don’t want somebody because his or her profile
doesn’t match you or it doesn’t interest you, you could move on to another profile. Most, if not all, online dating
sites also have features that enable you to state what you look in for a partner.
Say what you like or dislike in a mate, as well as
the things that you do or hobbies, among others. Submit it to the online dating site where you are a member, then just wait
for emails coming from the online dating services informing you of their latest possible matches for you! It’s that
easy! You don’t have to go to the site every day just to check who’s right for you.
If somebody piques your interest, you
could send him or her an instant message or an email. And hopefully, he or she will do the same. From there, you can take
the contact to the higher level. It is that fast and easy.
Okay, you say, online dating gives you more pros than cons. But, how to choose
from the various online sites out there? Here are some factors that you should consider.
1. Do some budgeting.
Determine
how much of your money do you want to be used for online dating. Do a budget. Some of internet sites require you to pay one-time
fees, while some ask for monthly membership fees.
2. Seek recommendations.
You could ask friends
or colleagues that have become acquainted with some online dating sites on their tips in looking for a good dating site. They
give additional information not that available to Internet dating sites.
3. Check available sites.
Check the Internet for possible information
for dating websites. Try to see what sites are the most popular or least visited.
4. Consider specialized sites.
There are also specialized
dating sites available. Some are for seniors, some for homosexuals and some are for different religious affiliations among
others.
5.
Weigh the cons and pros.
From you’re the online sites that you have checked, select only the top three for you and compare their
advantages and disadvantages with the rest. Factors to be considered are the site’s success rate, number of members,
features, fee costs, among others.
Dating has never been this fun. Whether it is for friendship or a long-term romantic relationship
(even marriage), online dating sites could help you on these areas in just a few clicks. Isn’t that so easy?
Getting Started with Online
Dating
For
anyone who is new to the world of online dating, things could get a little confusing. Online dating differs from real life
dating in many ways. One of the key differences is that with online dating, all of the action is done via the internet.
Individuals or groups
of people who want to meet other people for social purposes, romantic attachments, or just to make new friends can do so through
the means of online dating services.
This is a new, fun, and exciting way to meet people. Almost everyone is getting in on the action
when it comes to online dating services. It has been assessed that approximately 1out of 5 Americans participate in an online
dating service.
There
are numerous online dating services that cater to all types of people. Individuals ranging in: age, interests, and that come
from different demographics, and various walks of life.
The numbers of people who are participating in online dating services are on
the rise. More than ever young people nowadays are using this method, as their main route to meet people.
They see nothing shameful about this
way of socializing. Plus, the anonymity that online dating services provide, they also find appealing.
After all, participants of online dating
services don't have to meet the individuals they communicate with online in person. Not until they feel they've achieve some
level of trust, and comfort with the other person. In the end, a participant always has the choice to meet or not to meet.
The more reliable online
dating services are those that require memberships from participants. They have a given set of requirements that must be met
before anybody is allowed to participate.
This allows the online dating service website to accept or reject aspiring members. Some of these
online dating services are not free. They charge a monthly fee for the services they offer.
Subscribers to online dating services are
asked to create a profile which contains a picture of the subscriber and other useful information. This is where the subscribers
get to post some basic personal information like interests, hobbies, and the description of the type of persons they'd want
to connect with.
The
great thing about this is the subscribers have a chance to express themselves, and show their personality through their profiles.
Also, they can specify exactly what they are looking for.
The subscribers are then matched with fellow subscribers who match their descriptions.
Afterwards, it is up to the subscribers to pursue the connection with the other subscribers that they've been matched with.
This way of self advertising
on an online dating service doesn't differ much from a personal, which basically operates on the same principle. These are
the little pop-ups that appear on a lot of websites on the internet.
It basically relays basic personal information, interests, quotes, a picture,
and contact email of the person who has posted the personal. Any interested party can then contact that person.
The great thing about
online dating services is that participants get to choose the persons they're going to communicate with. Plus, they get to
read their profiles ahead of time, so they'd pretty much have an idea about what type of a person they are dealing with, before
they make contact.
The
downside to online dating services is that not everyone tells the truth on their profiles! Some married individuals have been
known to lie about their marital status online. This has been an ongoing problem that has plagued the online dating service
world since the beginning of its inception.
But a lot of online dating services are now enforcing more stringent rules to crackdown on this problem.
Some are even doing background checks to make sure aspiring subscribers don't have a criminal record. This adds to the safety
of the members of the online dating community.
The availability of online dating services makes this an appealing option for anyone who is looking
to meet new people. Now, with the popularity of online dating services, the interactions people can have are not only limited
to their set of friends, acquaintances, and co-workers anymore.
It is so easy to partake in an online dating service. Anyone who has access
to the internet can do so. Now, with just a simple click of a button any individual can be launched into the new and exciting
world of online dating.
Why
Many Prefer Online Dating Over Traditional Methods
Gone are the days when dating means courting your future spouse you met at school or in your neighborhood.
Romance could blossom now with a click of a mouse.
The Internet has become the ultimate haven for singles – without the drunks, the noise, and
the exorbitant cost you pay to be in the bars desperately hoping to be noticed. Thanks to online dating sites, you don’t
have to ask your mother or friend to help you hook up with someone they think is perfect for you – which in most cases,
isn’t.
Some
might still believe in the good ol’ traditional dating. Good luck to them. But not you. You are wise and savvy. You
know that online dating is a better and quicker way of connecting with other people and getting to know them.
You know you can’t
meet all the people in the world that might just be your perfect match. The Internet expands your probabilities, widening
your choices to meet a mate.
What are the additional reasons for checking out online sites?
1. The ability to easily access profiles from the easy
access to a wide variety of profiles. Online sites make you see hundreds of profiles for a possible match. Clicking on someone
that you have an interest on is so easy with just a click of the mouse. Vice-versa, others who would also like to talk to
you (and hopefully, just more than that) can also message you.
In traditional dating, you are limited to the social circle that you have.
Your choice then becomes limited. Unlike in online dating, where choices can be limitless, and is not limited in your immediate
circle of friends and acquaintances.
2. Most reputable dating sites are safe. They are very particular on this area, enforcing among others,
a Code of Ethics among members, Certification that a member is single, and background check on criminal record. Check whether
the site has safety nets.
Both traditional and online dating have their dangers, although dating traditionally, admittedly, has lesser
safety risks. But you can never be too sure.
3. You have the decision to meet or not to meet somebody. If you do not
feel meeting somebody up, then it is your decision.
Compared with online dating, you feel a sense of pressure when someone wants
you to meet this or that. If your best friend nags you to meet his or her cousin, how can you say no? In online dating, the
decision to say yes or no is very easy.
4. The accuracy in finding you a good mate increases since the site has personal profiles for you
to look at, personality tests, and image uploads. Some sites can even have audio and video capabilities in their personal
ads.
Do
not ignore these opportunities in improving your personal ads. Other singles and prospective matches will take a look at your
ads longer if you have video or audio clips in your ad Personals ads with images of you have a response of 80 percent, but
ads with a video clip or audio clip (or both) have a 97% response.
Unlike in traditional dating, you get to “know” various kinds of
people in just a few minutes. You could sense someone’s personality without the hassle of actually meeting that person
first.
5.
It is relatively affordable and fast. Online dating sites are cheaper and quicker than arranging a date with somebody referred
to you by a friend. In just a few minutes, your perfect match could be available.
Of course, internet dating won’t guarantee you
an easy head start in dating and romance. After all, like any forms of dating, online dating takes practice and patience.
Online dating has its downfalls too. Being online does not mean everyone would be buzzing around you.
That is why when you are using online
dating services, you must take responsibility for your actions, and consider safety risks as well. After
all you are spending money too – money not just for connecting to the Internet, but also for the minimal fees you pay
for being a member in those sites.
Internet dating sites cost primarily because of two reasons: First, to discourage fly-by-night creeps
who just lurk and are curious in cyberspace. Second, running a good online dating service costs a lot, which also includes
ensuring that members are safe.
There are vast differences between traditional and online dating, and it would not hurt you trying dating
online.
Benefits
of Online Dating Services
As we have discussed, in the past few years the trend in dating from all over the world has changed
drastically. Individuals looking to meet people don't choose to line up in queues anymore, to try to get into the hottest
places. Seldom will they be seen hanging out in pubs and bars, trying to catch a glimpse of prospective hook-ups.
Nowadays, there's a more
modern, and organized approach to this mating ritual. Welcome to the world of online dating. There are a lot of advantages
that go with this method.
Now singles can meet and greet each other without leaving the refuge of their homes. Sounds crazy, but now
this is the most preferred way individuals, especially young people socialize.
One of the greatest things about online dating is that participants get to
specify the exact type of person they are looking for. This can be done by joining a dating online service, or posting a personal.
An online dating service
is basically a community of people who gather together to interact, socialize, and make friends with each other. There are
a lot of online dating services on the internet.
We talked about some online dating services that require participants to subscribe to their websites.
This is by far one of the benefits of online dating. The great thing about online dating services that
are run by subscription is that their members are assessed before joining.
Aspiring members are asked to file an application, and are required to meet
the guidelines, and requirements that are set by the online dating service. Some online dating services are more discerning
than others.
A
few selected online dating services even require their members to be prescreened before joining. This is done for the safety
of the participants. In return, subscribers are asked to make a monthly payment.
Subscribers are often asked to create a profile that
relates basic information about themselves. Usually this includes: age, gender, nationality, and place of residence.
For
subscribers this also offers them a chance to express themselves. They can get creative with their profiles. They can also
include personal information like hobbies, interests, and specify the type of person they are looking for. Profile
Benefits of Online Dating Services
In these past few years the trend in dating from all over the world has changed drastically. Individuals
looking to meet people don't choose to line up in queues anymore, to try to get into the hottest places. Seldom will they
be seen hanging out in pubs and bars, trying to catch a glimpse of prospective hook-ups.
Nowadays, there's a more modern, and organized
approach to this mating ritual. Welcome to the world of online dating. There are a lot of advantages that go with this method.
Now singles
can meet and greet each other without leaving the refuge of their homes. Sounds crazy, but this is now the preferred way individuals,
especially young people socialize.
One of the greatest things about online dating is that participants get to specify the exact type
of person they are looking for. This can be done by joining a dating online service, or posting a personal.
An online dating service is basically
a community of people who gather together to interact, socialize, and make friends with each other. There are a lot
of online dating services on the internet.
Some online dating services require participants to subscribe to their websites. The great thing
about online dating services that are run by subscription is that their members are assessed before joining.
Aspiring members are asked
to file an application, and are required to meet the guidelines, and requirements that are set by the online dating service.
Some online dating services are more discerning than others.
A few selected online dating services even require their members to be prescreened
before joining. This is done for the safety of the participants. In return, subscribers are asked to make a monthly payment.
Subscribers are often
asked to create a profile that relates basic information about themselves. Usually this includes: age, gender, nationality,
and place of residence.
For subscribers this also offers them a chance to express themselves. They can get creative
with their profiles. They can also include personal information like hobbies, interests, and specify the type of person they
are looking for. Profile guidelines vary depending on the online dating service participants choose to
partake in.
One of the main reasons people choose to participate in an online dating service, is that so many people are
doing it! Technically speaking, this increases an individual's chances of finding the right person that's meant for him or
her.
In 2004,
it was estimated that people who lived in the US, spent more than $460 million on online dating services. This means, that
a lot of people are seriously getting online and spending money, trying to find their potential soul mates.
Also, singles who are a part of an online
dating service know that they are there for a reason, which is to meet people, socialize, make friends, and potentially find
the love of their lives.
So this takes out the guess work of a person's intention out of the equation because everyone who is a part
of an online dating community is looking for the same thing.
Also, the availability of an online dating service is irresistible. Individuals
can avail of their services 24 hours a day! So participants can log on to their online dating service any hour of the day.
If they
are bored, staying in bed because of a sore throat, or they just feel like staying at home on a weekend; they can always check
if somebody is trying to contact them through their online dating service. They can browse through other people's profiles
and try to seek out the one that strikes their fancy!
There are a lot of online dating services that are absolutely free! This is beneficial to those individuals
who are new to the world of online dating services.
Those who just want to have some fun and try something new can try out these free services first,
and see how it suits them. Later on, they can move on to the more exclusive, by subscription online dating services, once
they've gotten the hang of online dating.
It is important to note that with online dating services, not everyone who participates, tells the
absolute truth! So it vital for participants to practice caution at all times.
An online dating service doesn't require participants
to meet the people they interact with in person. This decision entirely belongs to the participants.
So it important to always keep one's
wits about, and practice logic, when engaging in these online activities. This will also ensure the safety of online dating
participants, and also allow them to have maximum fun!
The Risks of Online Dating
There is no question that the popularity of online dating has revolutionized the way potential couples
meet each other. These days, it is not uncommon for the average single person to participate in an online dating service.
In fact,
this trend is fast becoming the norm. In 2004, it was estimated that residents in the U.S. spent more than $460 million on
online dating services.
It goes without saying that online dating is big business in America. There are many reasons why people find
this method of meeting new people so appealing. For one thing, everyone is doing it! The number of online dating services
on the internet is so abundant, many of which offer services, absolutely for free.
The combination of curiosity and the desire to meet
new, exciting people is what usually lure individuals to be a part of an online dating service community. But this new activity
doesn't come without a price.
Sure it doesn't happen all the time, but just every now and then horror stories about online dating services
would arise. Some of them are scary enough to send casual observers away from these online dating services for good.
One of the problems facing
the industry of online dating service is that its participants often misrepresent themselves in the profiles that they create.
Not everyone tells the truth.
People have been known to lie about everything, including their marital status. Some married individuals try
to pass themselves off as single; while others lie about their physical appearance, age, economic status, and even gender.
For an inexperienced
online dater, the danger lurks at every corner. But there are some safety measures prospective participants can take to help
guide them through a safe online dating experience.
Rule of the thumb: most online dating services the offer subscription are relatively safer than those
individuals that can be accessed for free. Those sites that require membership offer a set of requirements, and guidelines
that aspiring members would have to meet before they become subscribers.
There are even some sites that are so exclusive, that anyone who wants to join
has to undergo an intensive screening process first. Background checks are done on aspiring members to make sure that the
information they have given checks out.
Some more safety tips when it comes to online dating:
1. Participants should pay attention to the consistency of the information
given to them by the persons they are corresponding with. This way, they'd be able to detect if they're lying.
2. Online daters should
protect their identity. One of the greatest things about online dating is that it offers participants anonymity. Personal
information like: address, last name, phone number, is not revealed until the participant decides to do so.
Participants should be
extremely careful about divulging personal information that will make it possible for the people they are communicating with
to directly locate them.
3. Participants should abruptly cease communication with people who are obsessed with acquiring personal information
about them.
4.
Participants should always keep a look out for warning signs when they are talking to people, such as: the use of foul language,
signs of anger for no apparent reason, elusiveness in answering direct questions, makes disrespectful remarks, etc.
These are some of the
symptoms that spell something could terribly go wrong. The person that is exhibiting these types of behavior may not be trustworthy,
and may lead others to danger.
5. Once an online dater has decided to meet his or her date, they should agree to have a meeting place. Individuals
should never allow their dates to meet them at home.
Online dating is similar to real life dating in the sense that individuals should always practice
common sense and caution, whenever they meet someone new. Even though, the interaction takes place online, once people have
revealed personal information about them to others, they won't be able to take them back.
It is best to always use one's instincts
and logic when it comes to dealing with other people, even when it comes to online dating. This is where some people fall
prey to cheaters, deceivers, and even sexual offenders.
They go against their better judgment. If something feels amiss, like there
is something not quite right, then this is probably a sign that something can go terribly wrong.
It is best to get out of this situation
whenever this occurs. As the saying goes: "Better be safe than be sorry". A saying that online
dating service participant should always remember.
Questions You MUST Ask
Online dating can be very entertaining and gratifying.
Since its inception, online dating had continuously
brought two people together in spite of the fact that they are worlds apart, with lands and waters separating them. Online
dating made bridges to connect people together, enjoy each other, and build dreams together.
However, there are instances wherein people
do not just connect to an online dating site and instantly find somebody whom they can share the rest of their lives with.
Online dating
is a continuous, systematic process. It entails careful selection of words, pictures, and representations of the person involved
in order to get the best results.
Moreover, from the time they get to find somebody they think they are compatible with, the process
continues as they get to know each other through a series of messages, chats, and other forms of communication.
Along with this comes
the careful selection of words used and messages conveyed in order to establish natural, free-flowing, yet enlightening conversations.
These are not just mere exchange of words and phrases but more on the verge of getting to know each other.
Hence, it is extremely important to know
which questions to ask so that the person can get a better sense of who the other person is on the other side of the virtual
screen.
Here
are some of the questions that one should ask to his or her online dating e-friend in order to assess the personality and
the attitude of the other person. These questions are specifically inclined to provide the necessary information regarding
an individual’s personal conviction on certain matters and his or her own preferences on things.
Those who are involved in online dating
just have to keep in mind that when asking these questions, they should make it appear very natural so that they will not
sound like they are being confrontational.
In addition, those who will ask these questions should be sure that they are also prepared to answer
the same.
1.
What is the major error that people make when online dating for the first time?
This question will illustrate some idea about how the
other person views the opposite sex. In this way, one could get an insight on the attitude of the other person and his or
her personal beliefs on some important matters like dating and relationships.
2. What are you looking for in a guy/girl?
With this question, an individual can get
hold of the qualities that the other person is looking for in a companion.
However, one should take note of how the other person tries to answer the question.
If in the event that he or she replies with the usual “sense of humor,” chances are, the other person has not
yet thought about the answer.
3. What is a really successful relationship?
One could get a good view on how the other person values relationship. It would
be better to hear the other person provide an answer regarding how the two persons who are involved in the relationship should
work together as they grow and have a better sense of personality.
4. What is your view on online dating services?
Through this question, a person will
be able to know if the other person had some serious negative experience concerning online dating or the other way around.
In addition, through the answers of the other person, one could guess if he or she is still willing to consider online dating
or not.
5.
Did you fail on your last relationship?
Most people would certainly blame the other person in the relationship. Others blame their selves
too much. It would be better to hear some answers like they (the couple) equally share the blame and that it is just time
to part ways.
The
point in asking these questions is to establish a solid foundation on the kind of personality and attitude the other person
has. It is when keeping the communication line open that matters most.
The problem with a lot of people involved in online dating is that most of
them do not have any idea how to carry the conversation and how to keep the lines burning. They do not know what questions
to ask and how to assess the answers that they get.
Boiled down, asking some reliable questions will give the person an edge over a lot of things. Hence,
he or she will be able to assert that when the time comes that they have to meet personally, the concerned person will be
ready to face his or her online date.
Dating Advice For Men
Asking her for a date:
• Ask her
out in person. Your conversations together is an opportunity for you to discover if both your personalities
and ideas are attuned with each other, before you do decide to ask her out for a date.
•
When calling through the phone. Don’t forget to mention to her the conversations you had.
This will give her the impression that you do listen, making her feel important. Then if you feel
that it is time to ask her, go ahead; ask gently, not in a demanding manner.
•
Ask when you both are alone. Never ask a girl out on a date in front of others, like her friends.
This will either embarrass her, and may say yes or embarrass you, if she says no.
During the date:
•
Look good, be neat. Put extra effort to the way you look. Take the time be well
groomed, smell nice and choose your clothes well. It must correspond to the place with which your date
is set. Make a good impression, so you can charm her and she can be proud of you.
•
Do not be late. Prepare for the big day ahead. Make the necessary reservations
and planning for your date. If you have planned for it, she will be impressed that you did put some effort
on your night together. Be sure that during the “big day” you have no appointments so you won’t
be cramming and be on time.
• Be polite.
Be sure to make her feel good by complementing the way she looks. And when seated at the table,
turn your cell phone off. This will signal to her that you are very much interested in your moment together.
•
Say her name. Make it a point to say her name ever so often in your conversations, to make her feel
at ease and special.
•
Smile. Aside from putting up a positive attitude, your smile is an indication that you are happy
to be with her.
•
Have a Sense of Humor. Making a woman laugh means you have won half your battle. This
means that she is having a nice time and creates a positive atmosphere. This will be an occasion she would
remember, because she had fun!
• Be attentive.
Listen to what she has to say or is saying, do not interrupt. Let her finish, before you state your
opinion and make eye contact.
• Be honest.
Let her get to know you by telling her what you do, what interests you, don’t make up stories. If
she will not like you for who you are, then she is not worth your time. Show interest in her too, by asking
her about her work, hobbies and her likes. Be sensible and honest in initiating such conversations.
•
Relax. Do not worry that your date is not having a good time. Go ahead and ask
her. Just manage yourself well and enjoy the evening. Keep the conversations open and
ask questions. Be sincere.
• Do not
pretend. Be yourself. Pretending into somebody that you’re not, will not work
in the long run. The truth will always come out sooner or later. It is a rewarding feeling
if someone is drawn to you for who you really are.
• Never
compare. It will be very unfair of you if you compare your date to your past girlfriend. Keep
in mind that she is a totally different person with her own personality. Take the time to discover her;
you might be pleased if you do.
Comparing won’t get you anywhere. An important thing to remember,
do not ever articulate your comparisons with your date, this will surely lead to disaster.
•
Never tell your date about your break-up. Keep in mind that you asked her out so you both could
have fun together.
She is not your therapist, so do not recount your past relationship. Burry
the past and move on. Here is a woman in front of you who is interested to know you more. Get
to know her too, initiate a conversation that could lead to a common interest.
•
Enjoy. Dating should be exciting and relaxing. A woman could sense if you are
enjoying or not. Don’t stress yourself trying so hard to make it “The Perfect date” because
it won’t be.
But you both can enjoy it. After all, you did invite her out because
you liked her in the first place. Be spontaneous and have fun.
Dating Advice For Women
It can be difficult to be a woman in
the dating arena. A lot of things can go wrong for you more than it can for your male counterpart. Plus, men can be really
dense about a few things. Well, no worries. Here are a few tips on what to do and not to do during a date:
1) Timing is important -
Timing as in 'on time'. No matter what they say, there is no such thing as 'fashionably late'. For the first date,
this can give the guy jitters and make him think that you've stood him up.
For the later dates, having him wait for you in the living room for half an
hour with either your roommate, your sister or, worse, your father is not something you want him to do - whether it be for
the embarrassing stories or Dad's 'eyes of doom'.
2) Keep your head on straight - Yes, we all know dates are supposed to be fun,
but knowing what's going on is important both for your own safety and for you love life. Is your date acting suspicious or
just nervous? Maybe you'd want to end the date early or do something to calm him down.
Is he taking notice of what you're wearing or
just ogling? The choice to either wink at him or just stare knowingly is up to you. Is his attention on you or the girl next
to you? You might wish to reward him with a smile or a slap. Situational awareness is not just for soldiers on the front but
also for young women on the prowl.
3) Be nice - Have a positive attitude, find things that you like and tell him. Compliment him about
his clothes, how he looks and how well the date is going. It puts him at ease and also makes him feel important.
It also shows him that
you're taking notice of him and you appreciate him. But, don't lie. Like I said, look at the bright side of things - the service
of the restaurant may have been slow but the ambience was terrific. Try making it into a habit, you aren't lying - you're
just being diplomatic!
4)
Do not complain - This may be technically part of tip three, but it deserves a separate heading. This doesn't
mean that you shouldn't tell him that something is wrong or something makes you uncomfortable. The way you phrase it and the
tone you use is important here.
'Venting', like we do with our girl friends, is not going to go over well with him since he'll probably misinterpret
it. Grin and bear it then tell him after the date in calm, reasoned tones your problem. Trust me, he'll understand and he'll
try to make it up to you.
5) Enjoy the date - A date is a chance to get to know each other and to enjoy yourselves. Have fun during
the date. Try not to be hyper-critical and just take things in stride. If you're not having fun, your date will notice and,
trust me, he will get nervous which will probably start ruining the experience for both of you.
Also, just let your guard down for a
little while. Let him see the real you. He may or may not like it, but in the end he will appreciate the honesty of the act.
Besides, if he doesn't like you for you, why should you keep on dating?
6) Afterwards, show interest - If you really like the guy, waiting for the
call after a successful date is nerve-wracking. You know he's interested and you're definitely interested, you're just waiting
for him to call you so you could arrange another date.
Try giving him a day or two. He usually has to get his act together and work
up the courage to call. If he doesn't call, he's probably still tongue-tied from being in your presence. Call him up to say
hello.
Talk
about the date and how you had fun and give hints. No matter how dense he will pick up on it and he'll probably be asking
you for another date!
7)
Be consistent - For those who've crossed the 'First Date' Rubicon, try maintaining the impression you made
on him on that first date. Men don't like surprises except, of course, if they plan them. This doesn't mean, however, that
you'll just give him the first date you.
Talk to each other, both on and off dates, to get to know each other more. What he got on the first
date was a sneak peek, what he should get from your continued dating should be the entire reel.
Well, there they are seven tips for dating
success! Hopefully, this advice could help lead you through today's tough tangle of relationships. Happy hunting!
Are You Being Deceived?
Since the advent of the
Internet, online dating seems to be the next generation of falling in love and getting married.
With online dating, it seems that no
one needs to be alone anymore. Everybody is bound to find the right man or woman through the help of online dating services.
Best of
all, online dating provides additional services that no other services can provide; and, because of the many interactive features
that most online dating sites give, more and more people are being enticed to try it out.
One of the greatest advantages of online
dating is that it gives the person anonymity. Since, other people are not fully aware of how an individual looks and what
kind of person they are dealing with; anonymity becomes a powerful tool in the process of interaction with other people.
With anonymity, most people
are able to say what they usually cannot disclose if done personally. In addition, most people have a lot of time analyzing
their dates first before they decide to meet them in person. In this way, they get to know who the person is, his or her personality,
or what does he or she looks like even if it is only through pictures.
However, anonymity can also be too powerful that some people use this as one
way of gaining the other person’s attention through deceptions and lies.
Therefore, for people who wish to know how to identify
if the other person they are dating online is not telling the truth or is deceiving them, here are some ways to detect such
unscrupulous activity.
1.
People who are into online dating should be wary of those who exaggerate or evade things that are too obvious not to notice.
This only means that the
other person is trying to hide something. People who do these kinds of things can be very deceiving especially if the other
person cannot easily detect the “symptoms of lying.”
Moreover, people who usually exaggerate may suggest that he or she is trying
to cover something that is why they make an effort to change the topic at once.
2. Inconsistency
There are instances that some people usually
tell stories of different varieties during a date online. Throughout the course of the activity, there are those who would
keep on yakking about certain things and when they are asked to tell the same story all over again the next time the couples
meet online, some discrepancies happen. The facts are no longer consistent with those that were mentioned before.
Therefore, these things
would only suggest that the person is, indeed, deceiving his or her online date.
3. If the other person does not reveal too much of
his or her personal information or anything about him or her, chances are, he or she may be deceiving their online dates.
In reality, there is no
harm on not revealing anything about certain information. In fact, it is one way of dating safely online.
However, there are situations wherein
an individual has to know something about his or her date just to gain a little knowledge about the other person. This usually
includes basic information like name, age, likes or dislikes, and other light information that could give the concerned person
some solid basis of the person.
So, for people who do not reveal much about who they are, it means that they are hiding something.
4. Intuitions
It may be too vague or
too amusing to believe on intuitions. Nevertheless, there are many cases and stories wherein people who rely on their intuitions
usually get positive results.
Intuitions are things that are known to exist without the support of some rational basis. Hence, if a person
feels that his online date is not telling the truth, then, chances are, the person may not be telling the truth after all.
Experts say that through
intuitions, the individual’s subconscious thought can identify inconsistencies that are not easily noticed. This can
be very helpful especially when somebody is skilled enough to be consistent on his or her lies for a long time.
5. It would be better
for some people to ask their online date to have a chat using a web cam. In this way, they will both each other’s looks,
personalities, and other things that can only be verifiable through web cams.
Here, an individual can detect a person who is trying to deceive him or her
when he or she does not want to use a web cam or if there are just too many excuses.
The bottom line is that, if the other person has nothing
to lie about, then, everything must be kept simple and straightforward. There should be no beating around the bush while answering
some questions.
In
reality, online dating that is free from any deceptions should be simple and based on truth, no more, no less.
Have You Found Mr./ Ms.
Right?
Love
is such a wonderful thing that when shared by two people, the feelings become mutual and the gratifications achieved. All
of these are established during the start of dating.
Dating becomes the primary selection ground for people who wish to end up with somebody they can
grow old with. It provides them the means to find the right person whom they can share their sentiments, their feelings, problems,
etc.
Normally,
the stages of dating illustrate continuous experiences. As the couple proceeds on the next level, they get to know another
chapter in their mate’s life.
However, even if it seems that two people are already mutual with regards to their feelings, there
are instances that one of them would ask if their mate is the right person for them. They can feel that they are happy as
of the moment but when the concept of finding the right person sinks in; a lot of questions take place.
Even if everything seems to be in perfect
condition and that dates are always pleasurable and gratifying, no one can be sure if his or her mate is the right person
unless he or she will make extra effort to analyze the situation and the person he or she is currently involved with.
So, for people who wish
to know if the person they are dating right now is the right person or if what they are doing is right or wrong, here are
some tips on how to identify the real score of the person they are dealing with.
1. It would be better for an individual to assess his
or her feelings about the other person.
In order to know if an individual has already found the right person, it is best to assess their
feelings towards the other person.
For example, an individual should try to identify the other person’s qualities. These qualities
that can usually be seen everyday with the person would mean that these are the same qualities that the concerned individual
has to deal with.
Hence,
it would be better to assess if the concerned individual likes what he or she is seeing or if they can tolerate the personality
of the other person.
In
the event that the other person has some qualities that are not that desirable, it would be better for the individual to be
sure of their feelings about the unlikely behavior. If they think that they can withstand and endure those things even if
it will not change, chances are, they have found the right person.
The other person may not literally be righteous but the fact that the concerned
individual can accept whatever the other person is, then, it must be love.
2. If the concerned person will get to accept the other person’s faults
or shortcomings not because of some hopes that someday he or she will change, then, it must be the right person.
One should realize that
accepting somebody should never be conditional. This means that when a person accepts someone who has qualities not included
in his or her concept of an ideal mate, he or she should not pose some conditions or expects something regarding future changes.
Because if this is the
basis of acceptance, chances are, the concerned individual will only be disappointed in the future and will only make matters
worst.
3.
If there are no obstacles that will in time kill the flame of love, then, it must be the right person.
If in the event that an individual finds
somebody and they feel that the relationship is finally the real thing, it would still be better to assess if there will be
no more impediments that would curb the growth of a wonderful relationship.
This simply means that the person should be sure that there will be no elements
or factors that will trigger some problems on their relationship in the future like vices, addiction, family problems, previous
relationships, etc.
If
the coast is clear, then, the concerned person had finally found his or her right mate and that in time the relationship will
flourish and be successful.
All of these things are boiled down to the fact that love is not 100% perfect. People should realize that
there are no such things as perfect people. As humans, people are susceptible to mistakes, imperfections, flaws, and whatever
weaknesses man is destined to entail in his or her personality.
So, the best thing to use when identifying the right person is careful analysis
of the individual as a whole and not just the physical attributes where substantial attraction is usually based from.
Tips To Stay Safe
Online personals and dating
can be a very fun venue towards meeting that special someone. However, one's safety should still be the top priority.
Did you know that most
online dating services do not pre-screen their users?
This means that they cannot ensure that the people you meet through their sites are safe enough to
be dealt with. So, this makes you call the shots when it comes to screening them.
Here are a few tips to make online dating less risky
and more fun:
1.
Anonymity Breeds Safety, For Awhile
Giving your real email address, personal web site URL, last name, phone number, place of work, home
address, or any other information that identifies you in your profile or first few emails that you exchange with other members
makes you an easy victim.
Turn off your signature file, or make sure that it does not have any identifying information, when sending
emails to a member through your own email.
2. Photo Perfect Request
To give an idea of the person's look, thus make you a tad safer, request for a picture. A scanned
photo won't cost so much, so not much alibi can be given for not doing it.
3. Lean on Common Sense
Trusting your online acquaintances easily can make you easy bait. If your gut
feel tells you that someone is lying, there's a big chance that he or she is actually lying. Then, don't go justifying his
or her acts.
Look
for someone that deserves your trust. Online intimacy is very dangerous. Don't indulge yourself on such endeavor at the click
of a mouse. Logical thinking will save you a lot of trouble.
4. Call First, Don't Drool Just Yet
A person's skills when it comes to communicating can
be easily gauged through a phone call. Though it might cost you some moolah, it still is worth it than risking yourself to
falling for an anti-social.
However, to make things a lot safer, use a cell phone or a pay phone instead of using your land line. Unless
you are absolutely comfortable with the person you are calling, don't give your home phone number at once.
5. Delay the Meeting
It is advisable to take your time and
get to know the person as much as possible first before saying yes to a face to face meeting. If he seems to be only spouting
or keying saccharine words that you want to hear, the person on the other end might have a questionable honesty.
Don't feel like you are
obligated to meet anyone, you still have the last say on whether you are ready to meet the person or not. You are free to
change your mind if anything feels not right.
6. Psychoanalyze or End up with a Psycho
You should pay attention to any signs of intense frustration, anger or any
displays of aggressive behavior. If the person is trying to control or pressure you, stop the communication. Here are the
other alarming manifestations of bad behavior that when spotted, should make you stop from communicating with your online
friend:
-
giving dubious info about appearance, age, interests, profession, marital status, etc.
- refusal to converse with you over the
phone when you have already established online intimacy
- consistently not giving any direct answers to direct questions, etc.
- overly agreeing to your
every statement
-
asking you to provide travel arrangements
7. Offline Meeting
Before meeting your online friend, tell someone reliable where you will go and when you will return.
Leaving your date's name and phone number is a good idea. Bring your mobile phone.
Don't make your date pick you up at home. Have your
own transportation and meet somewhere public. During the date, don't leave your drink unattended. After the date, leave on
your own too.
To make online dating work, it is imperative that you exercise caution. Have ample time to get to know the
other person, don't rush yourself or allow anyone to rush you into doing anything. It's better to be safe and dateless for
a while than sorry.
Online Dating Tips for Special Groups
Caution! Do be aware that online dating is not a totally
safe environment. Be very careful in investing your money, time and heart in it.
•
Use only a free email account. By using your email accounts with sites such as Yahoo, Gmail, Bigfoot
and Hotmail, you make easy correspondence while keeping your local email secure. Do consider hard to guess
passwords which are different from your log in name.
•
Avoid creating a profile name that gives a clue as to where you’re from and who you are. Choose
a simple nickname but far from your true identity, to avoid getting your personal information accessed by unwanted individuals.
Also, avoid revealing
too much personal data when filling up your profile, as they usually appear automatically.
When in an online conversation:
•
Ensure secrecy. Keep in mind to never expose and provide anyone with your personal information such
as full name, address, phone number and email address. Anybody who asks you these early in the conversation,
take it as a warning. You are in control here, and you can stop communicating when you feel uncomfortable.
A lot of sites offer a
messaging system which can be used for communicating with singles. Using this system is safer than using your email.
•
Remain anonymous. Don't give personal information readily. During communications,
ask questions. Ask him or her about his hobbies, education, career and interests. Take
note of all of these, as the person you are talking to needs to be consistent. If they are not consistent
then chances are they are not being truthful with you and not worth your time.
•
Be honest. Likewise in your end, be honest enough, but at the same time not giving too much information
as far as your work and home address is concerned. Just be truthful with your conversations.
Convey
your intentions as clearly as possible. And if you don’t like him, tell him politely.
Don’t find excuses and give him the impression that you are interested in meeting with him.
•
Be safe. If after many emails both of you feel that it is time to be talking on the phone, the man
should be the one to give the girl his number and the girl should be the one to call the man. The girl
should never give her phone number.
• Be protected.
When you are definitely sure that you would want to meet the person offline, ask him for references, such as his friends,
relatives or co- workers.
This is not to give them the feeling that you don’t trust them, but if they too
trust you, they would understand that you are very much willing to meet with him, but you just want to be on the safe side.
If he has a genuine and sincere interest in you and has nothing to be afraid of, then he shouldn’t repel, but
willingly give you all the information.
You could also do a background check. There are sites which offer this for free.
The meeting:
• Inform somebody
of the meeting. When the plan for a meeting is already set up, make certain you tell your friend or a member
of the family where exactly are you going and who you’re meeting.
•
Bring your cell phone along, so in cases of emergency, you can call your friend right away.
•
Use common sense and judge accordingly.
• Meet
him or her in a public place such as a café, park, museum, or anywhere as long as there are a lot of people.
Dos and Don’ts on
your first date:
•
Do pray before a date (for Christians)
• Do be
on time.
•
Do look good and be neat.
• Do compliment.
•
Do make your date comfortable.
• Do listen.
•
Do talk about something you have a common interest with (for Christians, talk about the verses in the bible and ask
each other’s opinions).
• Do take her to
your church (for Christians).
• Do be an exciting
date. Listen to your date and make sure to let your date feel that you are interested with all that he/she
has to say.
•
Do ask your date about her hobbies, career and future plans.
•
Do be romantic.
•
Do enjoy your moment together.
• Do laugh
at her jokes.
•
Do be yourself.
•
Do avoid touching.
Don’ts
• Don’t be
late.
•
Don’t talk about your past relationship.
• Don’t
pretend.
•
Don’t ask too much questions.
• Don’t
show disrespect to your date’s beliefs.
• Don’t
forget to say thank you after the date.
Getting No Response?
For most people who would like to be happy with their love life, dating is probably the single most
important activity that one should engage in before they proceed on the more serious part like marriage.
If successfully pursued, dating can provide
greater gratifications to those who wished they were happier and more contented with their lives. If ever they failed, it
is probably the most horrifying event of their lives.
Having a bad hair day, a missed flight, or a burned fried egg, can be endured by most people, but
to have a bad date is like living in agony. When love becomes decapitated, life becomes a survival of the losers.
No wonder why everybody
is trying hard to come up with something unique and quirkily entertaining when it comes to personal ads.
These ads are not the typical ads that
people see on televisions or on print medium. Personal ads are more like profiles, though; the main purpose is also to advertise
one’s self.
People
who vie for personal ads are those who hope that somebody love begets love and that somebody will soon find them amidst the
many singles who try their luck in cupid’s daunting game.
So, here goes an individual, with all fingers crossed as she post her personal
ad online, trying to find the love of her life and wishing that someday, somebody would soon reply.
Five days, two weeks, 4 months, and still,
she does not get a response. The next things she knew, she is already retracting her personal ad, sulk in the corner, and
cry. She wails as if the whole world had crumpled on her.
She starts to have low self-esteem and begins to blame herself for not being
desirable enough to get responses.
What she failed to do is to analyze what went wrong. She failed to look back on her personal ad,
identify each part, and evaluate what should have been done right in order to get the response she desperately needed.
The problem with most
people, who fails to get responses on their online dating ads, is that they easily get depressed, and once they are depressed,
they start to blame their selves and curse whoever managed to come up with an idea such as online dating and personal ads.
This should not be the
case because not identifying the real problem or the ultimate cause of such negative results would only mean that the person
is not really interested. Or maybe, he or she is interested but is too desperate to have positive results but do not have
any idea how to make it happen.
Hence, people should know what to do with their personal ads in order to gain the gratifications they wanted.
So, for people who want to have knockout personal ads that are proven to have positive results, here is a list of some tips
on making personal ads:
1.
People should learn how to describe their selves truthfully and exactly.
When making personal ads, people should take note of the things they should
include on their ad. Like copy ads, each details should be made out of the creative juices of the person and constructed into
such marvelous description of one’s self.
It should include more solid information that will provide the other person, who will view the ad,
with a more visualized concept of the person in the ad.
The explanation behind this logical reason is relatively simple. Who would
dare try to obtain an item if the buyer does not know what he is paying for? Hence, it goes to show that before somebody replies
on one’s personal ad, the other person should feel the enticement in order to compel him or her to respond.
2. It would be better
to tell more stories and not reports.
People should always remember that they are writing their personal ads. This means that they should
meticulously find some ways on how to make their selves saleable to the viewing public.
It would be better to write some stories about
their life and experiences. However, one should take note not to overdo this one as it will appear and sound like a mushy
write-up ready to be devoured by some hungry wastebasket.
It is best to write something people can relate to. Persons who would like
to have positive results on their ads should know where to draw the line between telling something about their selves and
bragging about their selves. They are entirely two different things that derive two different reactions.
Best of all, honesty should always be
incorporated in whatever write-up they do.
3. People should never dwell on negative aspects like problems or failed relationships.
Posting personal ads is
not about obtaining some help from other people. So, there’s no room for advices or petty counseling sessions. It’s
best to create a personal ad that would draw in positive responses by creating positive profiles first.
As they say, once somebody started something
negatively, chances are, the negative vibe will stick up to the end.
The key point in writing personal ads is to come up with something that will
appear very interesting and attention grabbing.
So, if a person gets no response on his or her ad, there is no use to cry over spilled milk. What
matters most is how to start all over again and try again the quest with a nice, enticing personal ad.
Letting Someone Down Gently
Online dating can really
be amusing. A lot of people even find it workable and gratifying. In fact, there are more benefits other people do not realize
unless they try online dating themselves.
However, not all online dating escapades produce positive results in the end. There are instances
wherein the expectations sometimes go out of hand when executed in reality.
Take for example the case of a person who was lucky enough to find somebody
he thinks is the right girl for him. He replied on her profile and when he received an answer from the girl, they started
to communicate frequently.
What happens on their online dating is a series of continuous communication, exchanging messages, chatting
continuously, and spending hours over the phone.
Because of the instant chemistry that evolved each time they talk to each other, the guy had emotionally
built up the possibility of having a true, and not virtual, relationship with the girl. That is why he decided to set up their
first real date.
As
they day came when they agreed to meet for lunch, everything seem to have crumbled into pieces. The girl appeared to be somewhat
different what the guy had expected or recalled.
What made the meeting even worse is that what used to be a cheerful, lively conversation they usually
had whenever they talk on the phone or chat in the Internet suddenly becomes so stiff and strained.
And as the date comes to an end, the
girl said that she had a nice time and enjoyed the day. The problem suddenly draws in. The guy does not know what to say or
do.
This
kind of situation is not uncommon in the world of online dating. There are many cases wherein two people just don’t
click when they start to meet each other in person.
A lot of people who are involved in online dating usually ask why such things happen. They find it
hard to believe that the person they have learned to like (and love) online is entirely different when in person.
Hence, they try to assess
themselves what went wrong. Is it their point of view that has changed? Were they deceived by the other person? Or was it
just wrong from the very start?
The problem with most people who indulge into online dating is that they fail to keep in mind that when they
communicate to their dates online, they are communicating, not with a person but with a series of texts, with no person involved.
This is because any answers can always be fabricated or the other person can always deceive his or her date.
So, when this happens,
personal meetings would really end up like the one mentioned above. This is because reality is entirely different from what
the computer screen illustrates.
Nevertheless, the problem is still there. One should know how to gradually exit from the situation without
having to hurt the other person’s feelings.
So, for people who wish to know how to do this, here’s a list of some useful tips that you
can use and make rejections a little easier to bear.
1. It would be better not to delve on the issue about not having the right chemistry in the first
place, or pointing out the reason why an individual cannot pursue the dating any longer.
In order to break things easily, it would be
better for a person not to mention anything that will focus on the issue of not getting the expectations one had started to
build before they even meet in person.
It is wrong to emphasize on the physical qualities of the person that is why the other person does
not want to communicate with him or her anymore.
2. It is best for the concerned person to try to explain to the other person the importance of finding
each other’s right mate in order to build a happy relationship.
An individual should at least try to make an extra effort on explaining how
chemistry works with two people and that lack of such value could be detrimental in one’s relationship.
3. Excuses will only make
the matter worst.
Rejections
should be instigated in such a way that the other person will not be hurt. However, this does not mean that the person will
have all the right to make such lousy excuses.
There are instances wherein the other person can sense the effort in making lame defenses and would
only be hurt more.
4.
People should be more consistent on their decisions.
There are instances wherein people start to tell the other person that their relationship will not
work, but in the long run, comes back rushing into the other person’s life because of the realization that he or she
is wrong about his or her decisions after all.
This will only make the matter worst and will only generate negative feelings.
5. it’s best
for the concerned individual to let the other person express his or her sentiments and ask questions. Then, the concerned
person should try to exert a little effort in answering the questions as honestly as possible.
The bottom line here is that when a person
gets disappointed after meeting his or her online date in person, it would be better to set things straight at once and put
an end on the situation before it gets heated up.
Moreover, the other person should learn how to empathize with the other person so as to understand
what they would feel if they were on their shoes.
It is all a matter of being sensitive at the same time being honest on what the other person would
feel.
Different
Types of Online Dating Services
Nowadays, there are so many types of online dating services to choose from that it's so easy
to get confused about the various sites that are offering to hook up singles with a date.
But those who are serious
about finding their potential soulmates should take the time to find out about the various services that are being offered
online. This way, they can choose exactly the type of service that works for them. This will increase their chances of finding
their potential soulmates.
One of the most popular services available are online dating services that
matches subscriber's profiles, with other members with the same interests and specifications.
Here's a run down of some of the more
popular online dating services. These are some of the most highly rated online dating services that can be found on the internet:
Yahoo Personals-
For a monthly subscription payment of $7.50-$19.95, (they offer premium services). Members can create their own profiles
with pictures included, that they can then share with this online community of date seekers.
Members can also communicate via Email,
and IM. Yahoo personals have over 5 million members, and is one of the leading contenders in its field.
Dream Date- Has a membership of over
3.5 million. One of the exciting features that this online dating service offers is that its members can communicate with
each other through voice chat.
It also has text messaging, IM, and offers Email correspondence. In addition to the normal romance affiliation,
it also offers its members an erotica section. All of these services are offered for the cost of $9.00-$24.95 a month.
Perfect Match-
Perfect match is an online dating site created by the leading online dating authorities who pioneered kiss.com, which
is one of the original online dating services. It has over 2 million members. It offers a scientific inspired approach to
match making.
LoveAccess.com-
This site is a step up from other online dating services because it offers its members the choice to include a video message
in their profiles! Members can take advantage of its text messaging, Email, and IM.
The best thing of all is that all of these services
are offered for free. Individuals who choose to sign up must create a basic profile, and write a couple of essays. First,
an essay that describes themselves, and another one that describe the type of person they want to meet.
Those who want to avail of their more
advanced features can upgrade their account. Upgraded accounts offer: IM that includes a video webcam, initiating conversations,
and an access to same sex and straight profiles.
Match.com- This online dating site is a must for all serious online daters!
This is top on almost all of the online dating reviewers' list. It has a high success rate of matching people together.
This site offers individuals
a free trial that allow casual viewers 3 days of full access; but it does require participants to show a credit card before
they can avail of the free access. Members are asked to create a profile, and post an add that includes one or two pictures.
They can
also add video greetings, and look through the profiles using their mobile phones. This site also provides a column that offers
relationship advice, dating tips and so much more! This site has over 15 million members in 32 different countries.
Another way for singles
to meet people on the internet is to post personals. This is different from a Yahoo personal ad, in a sense that individuals
don't need to join a community.
These 'personals' appear everywhere. Most online lifestyle magazines have a personals section included in
their site. These are just pop-ups that randomly appear on the side of the page. It displays an individual's profile, picture,
and contact number. If any person who happens to be browsing through that online magazine happen to be interested, all he
or she would have to do is click on the personal.
Then they'd find out more information about that person. The majority of mainstream online magazines
that can be found on the net carry a 'personals' section on their website.
There are so many online dating services
that are available nowadays, that individuals who are looking to partake, now have a choice of selecting just the right online
dating service that works for them, and provides for their needs.
Thanks to the endless demand of people who embrace this new trend in dating.
Now individuals
who are looking to find love have a better chance than ever!